mc chris is dreaming lyrics

MC CHRIS IS DREAMING

lyrics by c. Ward, music by a. futral

hook

when the stars are in the sky and the clouds are in my mind
i rapidly move my eyes see sights i cannot describe
subconscious sucks at subtlety utterly unsatisfied
dream therapy apparently terribly terrified

mc chris is dreaming let’s see what the damage is
head is bound in bandages bed has appendages
hover over others now i’m boundless and buoyant
we’re an annoyance to the air planes that attempt to avoid us
i’m a morpheus mario jumping just off screen
climbing clouds towards a castle filled with fucked up dreams
when i arrive it’s a dive and there’s no scrilla to scrooge
just a treasure trove of trauma and a really bad mood
my dark depths are far fetched yo my gray matter’s gross
my cortex a vortex and i am lost in my lobes
my hippocampus is so cunning keeps on running repeats
i wake up wanting a release from these watery sheets
night sweats you can bet sometimes i talk in my sleep
the romantics are recording they like hoarding my deets
sometimes i snore it’s abhorrent i'm a quarrelsome beast
i even float above my covers someone summon a priest

hook

mc chris is dreaming i’m not paying attention
my heads in the clouds i’m in other dimensions
my attention span is limited it’s not condescension
just a space cadet at a space camp convention
in a conversation with me i’m looking distracted?
not my fault if my focus is fractured i’m captured
has to be another fantasy a rapper enraptured
never in my planner to be a bad manner disaster
a bastard who cannot even remember his password
but can’t forget the past this matter of fact hurts
my brain is a sieve won’t give me a break
it’s leaking lovely weekends but it’s keepin mistakes
can’t listen can’t focus in class i’d often doodle
get C’s on all my tests because my messed up little noodle
makin mazes so amazing even teacher was impressed
no one was concerned i couldn’t learn or do my best

hook

bridge

hook

MC CHRIS THE SHIT

lyrics by c. Ward, music by j. jennings and a. futral

mc chris is so delicious
join his clique reap the rewards
dip shit tricks suck countless dicks
maybe they’re pissed chris has bitches galore word
name is mc chris start clapping and having fits
i’m the best rapper no rapper has happened since
fella with a following happens to have a hit
i’m the rappin patton that’s fappin to sample flicks
i’m the lonely soul that’s trolling my crabby critics
i’m the ample adult that addled by analytics
pigeon holed pariah on fire refuting physics
i’m a meaty mimic who’s a little bit acidic
i’m a little leprechaun join me in a jig
got more misunderstandings than legoland got minifigs
more comics in white boxes they’ll crush me in a quake
i got more funko pops than your mom got funnel cake
i go at it like gosling when it’s eva’s cumpleanos
she’ll be awaiting for my arrival like the avengers rival thanos
rachel maddow likes my five o’clock shadow or maybe not
i wanna score w elizabeth warren she crazy hot

hook

mc chris the shit yes you know that he is
he gets requests mc please play all your hits
mc chris the shit yes you know that he is
he gets requests mc please play all your hits

smaller than a smurf i got tic tac raps
i’m a lilliputian perv serve sick raps fast
if you don’t want to get burned then i’d get back fast
i deserve it cuz i earn it now get that cash
i’m older than the mountains younger than the sea
i’m older than the cat in the book store that’s asleep
i can’t help but rap it’s like i got a bad disease
got more bars than bourbon street more than wonka stocking sweets
more emo than a widow watching the way the were
more fragile and featherless than bevy of baby birds
i’m the rapper that doesn’t matter lyrics left up in an attic
i represent asthmatics and other people who panic
you might have more pringles but i got more raps
dinkles got wrinkles sacks got more flaps
mc chris is more delicious than black phillip’s apple pie
my taints got more dingle berries than larry the cable guy

hook

uppity punk putting a bump in your trunk
muckity muck that’s put a bug in your junk
little micro mother fucker that you can’t help love
take a hit of mc chris and get a bit of a buzz
i’ll take a sip of something simple then it’s back on the bus
i follow several fundamentals like don’t fuck with the fuzz
i never want to settle wanna give it my guts
ill on instrumentals spill like buckets of blood

SPANKY

lyrics by c. Ward, music by G. santiago and a. futral

i was the cutest kid man you should’ve seen me
people pinched my cheeks they wanted me on tv
when puberty premiered i felt weird and started eating
weight accumulated never sated always feeding
i was a fat kid back in the 80’s
i liked french fries no aioli no gravy
i wouldn’t share no matter your name
the fatter i became the sadder i sat ashamed
picked last no friends called fat at the table
my father found no fault because he was also enabled
food’ll fix it was the ticket but that made matters worse
now i’m the current carrier of a corpulent curse
no matter what the dish is only wish is it’s hot
metabolism was malicious it was slower than sloths
every bite became a burden every servin was unnervin
starving kids in china remind ya you don’t deserve it

hook

too little for larges and too massive for mediums
people look at me and say what the fuck they feeding him
they don’t design these dungarees 32 x 28
so i’m rolling up my cuffs and i’m feeling overweight

other kids were even bigger but somehow succeeded socially
i wanted to be popular obviously wasn’t supposed to be
i was hoping we could openly obsess over obesity
i’m always losing weight that’s why i say you want a piece of me
addiction introduction my affliction was fat
wore a shirt when i went i swimming a slimming effect on my flab
locker rooms were lethal tombs my body would be exposed
while they’d creep into the showers secretly slip on all my clothes
in the winter of my years it appears i’m a simple fool
my life is in the middle problems the same as middle school
always feeling empty even though i’m feeling full
a treat will try to tempt me it’s deadly i’m seeing skulls
back in brooklyn i was broken i’d watch joggers from the window
never believe it couldn’t do wii fit i was anemic on nintendo
but then i jogged a single mile you should’ve seen my dentals
my limits were just figments turns out everything is mental

SAD SACK

lyrics by c. Ward, music by j. jennings and a. futral

had to talk about in my notepad
something goin on in my gonads
got a glossy finish like it’s kodak
you might say that’s not my business yeah i know that
while i’m dreamin there is semen in my undies
young dum full of cum solomon grundy GRRRR
i mainly grip it for a minute then i pass out
i’m having crazy stripper dreams w they ass out
i always try to cater to compulsions
now im waking to a boner that’s convulsing
you might say that is repulsive and disgusting
guess YOu get a ghost when ur bustin
i wonder why this happens but i draw blanks
i guess my seeds need a release from their shawshank
my kernels are nocturnal it’s a cruel crime
if my tims gotta swim then its tool time

hook

sad sack liquid on your lap
stewin in your fluid because u forgot to fap
wad blown time to change clothes
can’t go to bed tilL u beat your bone
life is callous and cruel then a laugh and a lark
there’s some drool on my tool a water park in the dark
there’s paste in my pants something brief in my briefs
i have a little less cum it was stolen by thieves
there’s a bit of my goo in my fruit of looms
my tidy’s aint so whitey lost a few of my dudes
i don’t mean to be crude i don’t mean to be crass
i just ejaculated as it was fated to pass
i must not have masturbated that’s really the shock
or i didn’t have a dream where i’m hunted or stalked
instead i get a betty who starts petting my cock
there’s jam in my pajamas instead of my socks
anything can happen and most girls like to do it
if i forget to fap then my brain must drain the fluid
i woke to some wetness you can bet this was normal
dreams can make me cream because they’re glory hole portals

hook

FREDDY’S DEAD

lyrics by c. Ward, music by j. jennings and a. futral

if you go to bed you might find fred
call freud if annoyed with the thoughts in your head
the nightmares that you share come from sexual leering
fuck carl jung and his dumb darwinist theories
freddy’s all in your walls, he’s all up in your tub
he’s got really long arms and he just wants a hug
he’s made up of maggots and bleeds green slime
cleared of all killings but he’s still serving time
wasn’t read his rights so it’s five nights at freddY’s
he’s the deadly medley of features that are not friendly
a glove with five knives that’s mighty fine for shredding
fill your room with feathers and mess up all your bedding
a boiler room planet is where he resides
it’s just like labyrinth composed of pipes
ready or not no matter how you hide
it’s always right behind with his knives in your spine
a complicated kill not the dopiest zombie
a steam punk that you debunk with copious coffee
freddy krueger hates keurig and scoffs at biscotti
he’s not illuminati he’s still got a lot of bodies

hook

one two he’s coming for you
three four better shut your door
five six grab your crucifix
slasher flix how i get my kicks

1941 december but there was no sign of santa
for the hathaway helpers had abandoned amanda
while repeatedly raped in a cage full of crazies
a fearsome foe was forged in the fires of hades
the bastard bouncing baby of 10,000 maniacs maybe
wasn’t born to be a brainiac a sadist in training
killed a hamster with a hammer what baffling behavior
wait until later when he’s relishing razors
krueger was a cutter kinda like kylo
always sorta pyscho and into gloves like michael
daily basement beatings made him impartial to pain
but his father got the furnace soon he’d suffer the same
his mother was a nutter now a nun in a habit
never knew her or pursued just managed his sadness
drop out opted for adventure now pop’s out of the picture
christmas sweater forever and the fedora’s a fixture

hook

a jovial janitor beneath the city’s silos
at that point an amateur his homework’s homicidal
the jingle from his ride’ll make the minors run amok
he’s like sweet tooth see his truck and your fucked
everything was just a front, a wife and kid he didn’t love
in his cellar kept his clippings and a gallery of gloves
twenty kids went missing the police were pissing blood
cathy was laughing but soon she’d me missing mom
said she’d never tell but she totally did
he smiled through the trial was acquitted no shit
parents wanted him punished cuz the jury’s unjust
burned him the boiler room hid the bones in a trunk
while his skin began to bubble his parting fully failed
dream demons came to see him skulls with spiny tails
they offered immortality reality would be his dreams
mortal kombat fatalities on smart alecky teens

DREAM WARRIORS

lyrics by c. Ward, music by a. futral

u almost see the areolas through a tiny teen’s trappings
her boyfriend doesn’t have a rod but sometimes stabbing happens
johnny depp wants to fuck but nancy won’t give it up
she ends up looking like rogue looks like she’s 20 years old
part two i won’t acknowledge new nightmare is a bum out
freddy fucked with phillips veins (pause) and now he’s acting strung out
caulfield heard the call of hollywood she needs a break
joey’s always havin wet dreams he mustn’t masturbate
kristen does that gymnastics can she kick it yes she can
pull people into dreams it’s a skill that nobody has
she still ends up in a furnace freddy’s final resting place
unless jason pisses on his grave then it’s back to hackin babes
kincaid got the blades he survived part three in vain
taryn’s hair is scary but two knives are kinda lame
will’s a fucking wizard blasting demons in the bog
freddy stabbed his stomach got mauled sawing logs

hook

we’re the dream warriors
the dream warriors
stood up to our fears and cheered
we are victorious

sheila was asthmatic a nerd that wore big glasses
invented an invention that kicks everybody’s asses
rick was like karate kid, but he dressed like ferris
freddy swept the leg and richard quickly perished
the dream master’s name was alice the menace of rabbit holes
freddy fed her baby souls so he could mainly gain control
mark’s the phantom prowler that’s the rocketeer with guns
couldn’t stop super freddy one of many that succumbed
spencer was a stoner breckin meyer’s good at grinning
went down the wrong pipe like water when ur swimming
maggie’s really cathy daddy’s daughter undercover
killed freddy with his razors became the savior of the suburbs
jason was adjacent to freddy in terms of tallies
his body count amount was striking like bowling alleys
he drowned in crystal lake until his mother’s murder set off
freddy did the same thing and then jason cut his head off

hook

nemo had his slumberland and neo had his matrix
one was kinda christlike and the other’s kinda basic
one is wearing timberlands the other’s boots are basic
thomas was a hacker he gave those party people purpose
the red pill was just dreadful now it’s him vs secret service
heard of dom he was the bomb if what u want is inception
want a dream within a dream not just a meme a profession
his squad’s got ariadne she’s always makin a maze
the top is his totem sometimes it stays in one place
now alex was a psychic who grifts his gift for gain
used his skills to cheat at gambling and then happily get laid
lor san tekka was beggin experiment on his brains
he put him on a pullman through apocalyptic plains
final match with tommy ray ninja on a zombie train
turned into a python that was frightening but he’s not afraid
alex’s morphs into his dad right there on the spot
then has sex with willie scott who by the way is really hot

POP RUN

lyrics by c. Ward, music by j. jennings and a. futral

pop drank non stop it’s a topic that’s classified
just an angry guy that alcohol would pacify
he’d watch miami vice and on monday it’s magnum
sit back in a recliner tell us not to distract him
you could always hear the clinking of the cubes then you knew
there was envy underneath whenever he’d reach for the booze
sometimes he’d drInk in the day time too
mow the lawn watch the cubs and drink all afternoon
pop runs were such fun we’d buy strawberry crush
he’d buy a bag of swedish fish it was all hush hush
gordon’s gin and smirnoff vodka in big plastic bottles
we thought nothing of it we’re not aristotle
my brother took his drink and down the sink he did pour
he said what the hell are you doing? pushed him up against a door
brother begged him to hit him but the father refused
painting beatles in the basement can’t erase the abuse

hook

everybody got a story well i got one
i remember dad called em pop runs
i was just a little kid with big problems
was it something that i did why did pop run

first time i tasted it i thought it was sprite
a lime was hiding in the ice and it didn’t taste right
so this is what he’s drinking after dinner each night
well i’ll never touch the stuff for the rest of my life
i was beginning to try when i was slinging the pie
at uno’s on milwaukee next to TCBY
was the summer of 92 when jump was the jam
stole a bottle of chianti because of silence of the lambs
sauvignon on the lawn listen to vinyl by verve
the whole house to myself in the bling of the burbs
throw parties every month chug a tussin and blaze
let’s face it i was wasted what a way to behave
family left me all alone in the house for half of a year
the house was on the market why not spark it have a beer
crashed there on the weekends couldn’t turn on the heat
slept in front of the fireplace with the coldest of feet

DITCHED

lyrics by c. Ward, music by j. jennings and a. futral
featuring t. carter

it was macdougal in manhattan that’s when it really started
i was served a glass of wine without even being carded
so i partied on the barley was a beast on the yeast
graduation drank champagne heckled bill cosby’s speech
holiday inn hollywood i would wallow in gin
watched ladies at the pool that i never saw swim
moved back in with my parents in a high rise that’s high maintenance
waited tables at houlihans met waiters who get libations
when they bellowed get the hell out we’d find bars that stayed open
hope i don’t wake my folks if they knew my heart would be Broken
i guess it already was and that’s why i’m always so buzzed
can’t confront all the crud what i want’s to be loved
detective dad solved the case of the disappearing liquid
wanted him to feel how it felt wanted to see we’re both addicted
sat me down said, “your mother thinks you’re drinking too much
i just want you to think about it you’re too young for a crutch.”

mom found my marijuana dad delivered decrees
you get out of my house if you be smokin da weed
i said you’re a hypocrite that’s addicted as well
you’ve been drunk my whole life it’s like i’m living in hell
he said i should grow up maybe corral a career
they left i’m bereft a hefty bag full of fear
the doorman took my stuff to a tougher side of town
the house of broken balls was a squall in which i drowned
no joke we did coke in some copious clumps
it was followed by a hollow got us down in the dumps
played turkok 64 till my roomie erased my save
was a loser in a war where the winner was a wave
wake and bake two street steaks after dinner digestif
liquor at the local bar that is just across the street
every day i’d get a beer sometimes i’m passed a xanax
take several tabs of acid, didn’t see the disadvantage

on a lark with a lamb who likes slammin sambuca
bewitched me the she ditched me what a bitchy bazooka
hailed a cab, it’s a trap, long before the google map
dropped me off where they sell heroin it’s an arrow in the back
called my buddy michael they all called him mike d
ex-member of cult found no fault i could see
waited in the streetlight cross streets keepin me comp
about to lose my life because i’m dangerously drunk
double vision, got no balance or my bearings i’m buried
he comes around corner mustn’t tarry starts to carry
barely got to our block i heard the sound from behind
to this day i hear a jogger i’m brought back to that time
we were surrounded by glocks one glistened a glare
i closed my eyes so tight i was so frightened and scared
steel was in my stomach heater rests against my head
took my wallet, punched my friend, hurried off like thoroughbreds

GREEN LIGHT

lyrics by c. Ward, music by j. jennings and a. futral

let’s get out of this city it’s really pretty depressing
let’s let our kiddie get gritty not our surroundings be messy
yes i will miss the graffiti cuisine we really loved eating
but the L’s self defeating so yo let’s switch up our seating
no more ceiling’s that’s dripping no more noise from the toilet
no more subway stair trippin no more vermin avoiding
no more nets for mosquitoes, no more buzz in our ears
is there a virus inside us that was something we feared
aren’t we sick of the crowds? there’s no customer service
these kids are too loud it’s like they want to disturb us
at the movies i mean peanut galleries gallore
if you’re rich it’s a bitch if you’re poor it’s a war
let’s pack up and leave, say goodbye to gourmands
williamsburg’s over and it’s time to move on
fast times in the valley see a movie at the mall
no more corner slush puddles no construction cat calls (whistle)

hook

green light green light your project has been approved
you’re no longer stuck in traffic you can finally move
instead of fearing the worst why not hope for the best
a little late in my life i think it best to head west

green light green light your project has been approved
you’re no longer stuck in traffic you can finally move
you don’t have to do yoga or transcendental meditate
you just have to be open to possibility and wait
can’t believe where i woke up i’m so choked up by change
our locations rearranged provoked to participate
no more moldy drying rack pulling food out of the drain
now we got a disposal it’s so totally great
now we got doors we can slam and a car in a garage
i sample the ampleness of our los angeles lodge
i like listening to seeger while i eagerly drive
palm trees helicopters living GTA 5
and in the mean time while i just try to survive
a whole new city to explore it’s not tour so there’s time
i’m a malnourished tourist that travels too often
but now i got a new gotham and it is totally awesome
opportunity is new to me feel green but i’ll grow
right now i’ll do some VO and we’ll see how it goes
show netflix my cartoon they’ll swoon and i’ll sign
freeze frame high five i’ve arrived

hook

MUPPET BABIES

lyrics by c. Ward, music by G. santiago and a. futral

next time your parents fight i’ll meet you on the roof
i’ll be there when u need me when u see me that’s the proof
every time you’re feeling lonely like you haven’t got a friend
if you feelin disrespected then your honor i’ll defend
everybody’s at a party and i’m left all to my lonesome
you’ll suddenly appear and say hey why don’t we bone some?
when that guy gives you that bloody nose i’ll beat him to the punch
when i’m ostracized bc of size you’ll sit with me at lunch
and when they call me fat and fag you’ll kick them in the balls
and when i’m feeling like a freak you’ll tell them you’re appalled
speak so highly can’t deny the opinions that you hold
not only do i love you now i’ll do it when we’re old
let’s live another life where we’re always side by side
let’s hold each other’s hands until the day we die
every morning go exploring maybe find a stegosaurus
build a treehouse in a forest and hope everyone ignores us

hook

let’s be muppet babies
let’s grow up in the 80’s

when it’s girls ask to boys i won’t have to wait to skate
other kids would be amazed like how did they get so brave
what are they doing in the basement bet they been to all the bases
and when i get pissed ur the one i run away with
live right next to each other we’ll be speaking like spies
flash light morse code is a mode we devised
walkie talkies then phones never stop communication
discussin every topic there’s no stop to conversation
fights won’t be these obstacles impossible to avoid
we’re not reeling from relationships that made us feel destroyed
we’ll actually be people not a bunch of people problems
we’ll actually be prepared for life and always carry condoms
of course i’ll be ur clarence when your parents get divorced
help me deal with dad’s drinking so it won’t become my course
all the traumas upon us will be gone in a flash
we’ll leave it in the past kick back and relax

interlude

first french kiss is with someone that i love
not the girl that blew the bully that was known the push and shove
experiment in merriment no embarrassment when we mate
we won’t ever need a date our calendars correlate
when i move to strange locales you’re the gal that’s going with
so i’m never seen as stranger or a drifter that’s adrift
have careers and we’ll encourage so we won’t be lazy loafs
have diplomas and a focus so we won’t be crazy broke
i won’t need to overeat never start to slur my speech
there won’t be an empty hole to fill you’ll be my puzzle piece
we won’t need donuts or drugs all of our holes will be plugged
broken mugs become hugs and nugs become snugs
maybe our problems were prerequisites for the life we love today
maybe pain shapes the best of us the parts that aren't so lame
we need failure and rejection maybe pain is in the planning
i’d rather be muppet babies shhh here comes the nanny

bridge

let’s be muppet babies
grow up in the 80’s
we’ll always be together
always saying samesies
i won’t worry about the ladies
you won’t worry about the fellas
we’ll never have to fake it
we’ll make everybody jealous

hook

HYPNOCIL

lyrics by c. Ward, music by j. jennings and a. futral

my hands keep shaking no fakin i’m feeling fucked
i’m a nervous nellie i’m telling u i’m taking tums
anxious in a state can’t relax and it sorta sucks
paralyzed cuz my mind gives too many fucks
addicted to details and whatever’s out of order
microscopic enemies sending me to my slaughter
paranoia will destroya and don’t say i didn’t warn ya
anchored all of the furniture put foam on all the corners
depressed always stressed it’s a festival of fuck it
can’t deny i’m suicidal and one night i’ll kick the bucket
ever since i can remember i’ve felt the way i feel now
it’s a feeling of longing that i’m afraid to renounce
am i getting worse? don’t i deserve good will hunting?
a fuzzy hatted judd hirsch is preferred by timothy hutton
sometimes i think therapy is just a perk of the wealthy
sometimes i think i won’t be healthy without a jennifer melfi

hook

wrong
i’m just wrong
can’t be strong
don’t belong
wrong
i’m just wrong
can’t be strong
don’t belong

what am i mad at? walls are padded i would rather be right
in the head i feel dead is this the rest of my life
my jacket’s straight can’t wait for me to make up my mind
i’m a boy interrupted maybe there’s something to hide
there are so many reasons why i should try to retreat
but i feel so defeated that’s why i seek out relief
feel hurt no worth no solution in sight
there is assistance in the distance too resistant to try

hook

like cruising to the cure when you’re in a good mood
hold onto the darkness sit in silence and brood
sometimes you long for the loneliness sadness won’t let u down
happiness is a sappy secret passage that can’t be found
will i line up for communion assuming i won’t be bummed
immune to this movement does every human need love
if ratched starts passing out prescriptions in paper cups
will i get itchy like ricci get belittled by little bumps

hook

it’s a synthetic anaesthetic that a medic provides
it’s a candy coated shell for the hell that’s inside
just another seedy guest in the cvs line
another peon poppin pills while some billionaire smiles

hook

hook

I did my best
I failed the test
i must confess
i’m just a mess
but that don’t mean
i can’t come clean
i still believe
there’s life to lead

quinzel can’t tell if i’m lazy or craze
so she quotes a dosages that will supposedly save
hesitated before i ate it feeling awkward that’s life
at the sink on the brink of being a walker that’s white
i’m a norm torn asunder a nutter on shutter island
i’m handicapped parkin barkin in arkham asylum
i’m a wack packer no back up when i’m embarrassed
i’m a loony toon determined in termite terrace

copyright 2016 mc chris llc